Archive for May, 2007
Movie: Garden State (Review)
Garden State
Genre: Comedy/Drama/Romance
Plot: This movie might not be the first of its kind, but it surely isn’t one of the cheesy knock offs. There was a clear and well laid out plot without the excess over thinking and dramatization as seen in most movies of the genre. That being said, all issues addressed in the story had significance and were cleaned up by the end of the film as all good film should. 4.5/5
Cast: The actors picked for these roles did a fantastic job. Braff Did a wonderful job expressing (or in this case not expressing) the true feelings of the character and Portman was breath taking as the free spirited Sam. 2/2
Other: .This movie was a great wake up call to the all the crap that has been spewed out lately that Hollywod is calling ‘romantic comedy’. I only regret is that I didn’t see this movie in theatres when it was first released. I’d definitely recommend it to anybody who enjoys this genre as it’s truly a gem. 2.5/3
Final: 9/10
› Continue reading
Monkey Kick Off
Kick the ball, it’s fun. Here’s my best let’s see how good you can do.
Monkey Kick Off
Movie: Premonition (Review)
Premonition
Genre: Thriller
Plot: From start to finish I felt like I had seen this movie 100 times before. You can only have a character go insane by seeing the future so many times before it gets old. Needless to say, it got old long ago. The typical plot line here was thrown out the window, since the viewer has to sit down after and try to figure out why stuff happened and even then it doesn’t actually add up quite right. There was a lot of garbage thrown into it that I didn’t understand why they even bothered with it because it had little to no effect on the movie and looked like it was there just to fill in the space. Being said, the ending was uneventful and dull. 2/5
Cast: The actors that were selected for this film were fine. Given that they’re weren’t incredibly hard roles to play, almost anybody would do. Bullock came off unimpressive, detached and genuinely seemed as though she were acting and not the character herself throughout the majority of the movie. The remainder of the cast however seemed to find their characters very well. 1.5/2
Other: Over all it wasn’t a bad movie, but it was nowhere near a good movie either. If you’re looking for the same Hollywood garbage that is supposed to ‘make you think’ this is for you. Personally I’d rather have my foot run over by a school bus instead. 1.5/3
Final: 5/10
› Continue reading
Movie: Rating System (V.1)
It has come to my attention that I’m not very consist ant with my movie reviews and need to come up with some sort of standard. After a bit of looking around I’ve found there to be 2 types of review standards: Simple (good/bad) or a extensive essay format review that takes everything into consideration right down to what color the director’s socks were. That being said, it looks like I’m going to have to develop my own method which I’m calling the ShirtNinja Standard of Reviewing Movies (SSMR)
SSMR is based on 8 simplified questions adding up to a total of 10 points giving the movie a total of 1/10 rating. Now take into consideration this is just a first draft, all recommendations and advice is welcome.
Plot (5 points)
1) Is it an Original plot/new idea? 1 point
2) Did the movie follow a plot line? 2 point
3) Did the movie fully explain itself (plot holes)? 2 point
Cast (2 points)
1) Were the roles cast correctly/played well? 1 point
2) Did the characters fit well together for the story? 1 point
Other (3 points)
1) Was it an overall good movie and worth spending the time watching? 1 point
2) Would I watch it again? 1 point
3) Puke Point:If the movie doesn’t make the viewer vomit, it gets this freebie point. 1 point
Movie: The Invisible (Review)
The invisible
God damn, another wasted movie. Why do they even bother making this crap?
So the movie is about two people: A ‘disturbed’ teen (Nick) who becomes the typical outcast in a high school situation after his father dies and a female character (Annie) who convinces herself that she has problems and turns to crime. Anyway, Annie commits a crime, gets caught the next day and was told Nick ratted he out. So she beats the hell out of him and thinking he’s dead disposes of the body in the woods.Nick comes back in ghost form guilts her into helping find the body and save him at the last minute then dies herself. Blah Blah same boring crap.
The movie really wasn’t very good and it wasn’t one of those ‘oh my god I’m going to vomit’ bad movies either (unlike my last review). It’s really not even worth watching.
Rating: 3/10 and leave this one alone.
› Continue reading
Movie: Georgia Rule (Review)
Look, it’s a review of Gigli 2…I mean Georgia Rule. Sorry, all bad movies seem to blend together.
This story started off simple then became stupid (as most movies recently seem to do). An out of control teenager (Lohan) gets banished to Idaho with the grandmother in hopes that it will straighten her out, she turns the small town on its head and comes around to be a better person. At least that’s what I was expecting.Somewhere in the mix she decided to say she was molested by the step father, then she denied it saying it was a lie to make a point, then it was true again, then it wasn’t, then it was a point to see if the mother believed her, then it ended up being true in the end (I guess). It be frank, it was stupid as hell. They were jerking the viewers around so much I was confused half the time. I can say I lost interest in this movie about half way through it and didn’t bother trying to pick it up again because the plot was boring.
Rating: 3/10 Blowjob in a row boat. There, I just saved you from having anything to do with the movie.
› Continue reading
Movie: The Astronaut Farmer (Review)
I just got finished watching the movie The Astronaut Farmer and I can say I honestly liked it. The general plot is about a man from Texas named Farmer (Billy Bob Thonrton) who builds a rocket with dreams of going into outer space. The conflicts of the movie are based around financial problems, an over-cautious government and emotional attachment as he has a wife and two kids.
The movie delivers a simple message to the viewers based on a completely impossible task: Follow your dreams. Sure the basis of this message may be out of this world, but by doing so it emphasizes what can be accomplished when you put your mind to it.
I’d give an 8/10 and say it’s worth a rent.
Movie: The Number 23 (Review)
21, 22, Twenty-Three… Ready or not here I come!
I liked this movie; the plot was well done.and original, the cast was done well and it didn’t leave any huge loop holes or cliffhangers at the end. The plot starts simple, Walter (Carey) Finds a book that makes him paranoid about the whole world revolving around the number 23. That’s all I’m going to say about the plot, it will make it more fun to watch yourself later and yes you should watch it.
Carey did a good job in this movie even though it wasn’t a comedy and I’m glad. I find his comedies are usually always funny, but any other genre tends to be a coin flip. Take for instance >Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, it was a good movie. However with flops like Man on the Moon and The Majestic you never know quite what you’re getting into.
Rating: 9/10 Very entertaining, worth a buy.
Movie: Next (Review)
Can I help who’s Next?
I didn’t care for this movie too much really, but it wasn’t a bad movie at all. Cris Johnson (Cage) can see 2 minutes into his own future with the exception of being able to see that Liz (Biel) will be in his future at a certain time. He’s wanted by the FBI to help them stop a bomb from going off but he doesn’t want to and runs from them. He and Biel end up hooking up and that ‘opens his senses’ I guess to see further into the future and there is a whole part where she gets kidnapped so and so forth.
It’s really not a bad movie if you want some explosionsans and just something to watch a dude running from the cops. The only beef that I have with it is that Cage and Biel end up hooking up which just seems wrong. I can’t see how they figured that two actors with a 25 year age cap would make a good couple (and yeah, he looks old in this movie trust me). The actors both did a fine job, but seeing somebody my parents age making out with somebody my ae gives me the willies.
Rating: 7.5/10 It gives the viewers exactly what it says it will: cop chases, explosions and a funky but simple story line. Worth a rent if that’s what you’re looking for.