I R Blogging

Ticked Tuesday: Dear Customer

This is just a friendly reminder that you owe me 5 minutes. You don’t have to pay it right now, but if you could get it to me by the end of the month it would be great. .

In case you forgot, I was standing behind you in line the other day at Wal-Mart when you took more than 3 minutes to get the money from your pocket to the cashier. I completely understand that with both that $25 box set of One Tree Hill and $1.14 pack of gum you couldn’t do the mental math in your head to get the money ready. The fact that you were standing in line for 15 minutes waiting to get to the cashier isn’t even worth mentioning (it’s not like I’d expect you to do something besides play with yourself while standing in line after all)

Who in their right mind would want to show that they have money on them? You’d stick out from everybody else in line waiting to pay for their items with crazy actions like that. Everybody knows that the two feet from where you were standing isn’t nearly as safe a place to show that you have to count out 73 cents worth of pennies as directly in front of the cashier.

I’ll let you get back to your busy day, just wanted to send you a little reminder. I’m sure you have a lot to do between watching your soap operas and complaining that all 7 of your ‘despectfool kiz’ keep calling you an unemployed, overweight whore. At least you still get the child payments from one of the five baby-daddy’s right? You can always pop another one out when the next season comes out on DVD, it’s not like tax payers money is better spent elsewhere or anything.

Keep reaching for the stars,
Jeff

P.S. Don’t worry, Even though I got to the bus stop just in time to see the bus drive away I only had to wait 45 minutes to catch the next one. Bitch.