emo
Movie: Twilight (Review)
Posted By Jeff On December 6, 2008 @ 6:57 pm
Movie: Twilight
Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Thriller
To start off, I was going into this movie with big expectations since 2008 seems to be the year of the vampire. I wouldn’t consider this a good representation though.
A quick summary: Girl (Bella) moves to new town and becomes the new girl in high school. New Girl falls in love with outsider kid (Edward Collins) who is a vampire.New Girl and Vampire have strange relationship, girl almost gets killed by evil vampire. End.
The nitty-gritty that bothers me of this movie is not only the inconsistency within itself, but the fact that the attributes of these vampires seem to be lacking towards those that we commonly know. For example, these vampires do not sleep at all (aka no coffins). I can live with this I suppose, it doesn’t effect the plot. However, they also are able to survive sunlight. In fact, not only does it not harm them at all it makes them shiny. Worse off, the Collins’ family states they only drink animal blood and it is left at that. Well there goes the entire vampire aspect of these people.
The plot itself that annoys me is that for the first hour and twenty minutes of this movie you could replace the ‘vampire’ factor of Edward (the male love interest) with just a pale emo kid and it wouldn’t change the plot at all. There is no real vampire-human obstacles that they’re overcoming here, just a lot of him saying “I don’t know if I resist myself”. *yawn* Now at this 1h20m point, it does a complete 360 degree turn here and suddenly they’re being chased by an evil vampire (who was awkwardly placed in the story might I add) and they’re trying to kill Bella. So it was 1h20m of high school emo garbage then the final 30 minutes is a horribly cliche fight scene.
As an added bonus to this pathetic attempt of a movie, Edward is able to read minds. He can’t, however, read the mind of Bella. He also often refers to her as ‘the one’ or similar there of because she has a different scent from the rest of the humans. It might just be me, but I’m pretty sure I already saw this before…Oh yeah, on True Blood. Suki (the female on True Blood) has the different scent and she can read minds. She is also in love with a vampire named Bill. It looks to me like somebody stole somebody else’s idea and just mixed it up. I think I like True Blood better.
Final Summation: Avoid this movie, watch True Blood on HBO instead. If you don’t have HBO, run over your face with a lawn mower, it’s still more entertaining than this movie.
Score: 4/10
Emo Template
Posted By Jeff On June 29, 2006 @ 5:31 am
This post is brought to you by Coca-Cola Ltd and by the support of viewers like you.
Available for the Visually Impaired: Click Here (recommended)
So like, I was really bored today because everybody was at work. So I just sat around and did nothing. It was really depressing. I played a lot of Dofus, and realized I play it too much. It was depressing. Then I got hungry, and thought I had nothing in the fridge good to eat. But then I found a sub, so I was really happy. But then it was only a 6 inch, so I was still hungry, so it was depressing. So then after I ate I…
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SHIRT NINJA LIVE ACTION NEWS !!
We interrupt your normal scheduled episode of Blogging for Apples for an important Shirt Ninja Live Action News Update:
I Love Eggs!
We’ll bring you more on this top story as updates are available. We now return to Emo Template already in progress.
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…And then I was like “No way!” And she was all like “She so totally did!” So then I was like “How can she do that, she just broke up with Kevin like 3 hours ago?!” and she was like “I know, she is such a tramp. I mean how is Kevin supposed to feel?” So then then I said “I know, he must be like totally heart broken now. Just wait until he finds out that she’s pregnant with his baby. We should like totally bake him some cookies.” So then Kristen walked in and was like “Hi girls, did you hear about Britney and Kevin?” and then Tiffany was all up in her face like “Don’t go spreading stuff about my girl Britney!” and she was all like “It ain’t no rumor girl, Amber saw them ….
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SHIRT NINJA LIVE ACTION NEWS !!
We have just received live updates from our top story tonight. We go live to Bill in the field
Bill: Hey Eggo. It’s a real disaster out here, bodies everywhere, women and children crying, and grown men dancing around in dresses with pink elephants; and it’s just an all up disaster out here Eggo. We’re still not certain of the cause, but we have discovered that the suspect also enjoys ham and cheese on toast. As the officer on the scene here has just told me “We’re making a real break here, it should be cleared up in no time.” Looks like hope is on the way, Back to you Eggo.
Thanks Bill, Stay safe out there. We now return you to your post in progress.
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…You love me. We’re a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won’t you say you love me too.
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SHIRT NINJA LIVE ACTION NEWS !!
Good evening viewer, for those of you just tuning in we’ve been following a breaking story. It appears that *static* has been *static*. Police have been scarce to reveal details, but our expert investigating team has penetrated their de fences. Our only leads until now have been that they love eggs, as well as ham and cheese on toast. However, we have just been informed of info that will crack this case wide open: the person is completely insane. They have discovered blog posts by the suspect on a site “ShirtNinja.net”. Let’s hope this gets sorted soon so we can all sleep.
We now return you to your post in progress.
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…and that’s basically all i did all day. Then I went to sleep, and woke up again. How depressing is that. Then I got bored and decided I’d write to the people who read my blog. Then remembered that I got almost no feedback on my ShirtNinja’s New Hair Contest, so figure that nobody will give feedback to this either. So depressing. Whatever, I’ll just go listen to Something Corporate and write some poetry. So depressing, I know.
Emo Day
Posted By Jeff On June 28, 2005 @ 5:32 am
Thanks to Ashley, Today is Emo Day. Yes today will be anything and everything Emo. Lets hope in rains so I can wear my black hoodie and I’ll carry around my laptop bag and act all depressed. Yeah, ok I won’t do that because it’s way too damn hot out, even if it does rain. But it was a nice thought huh? Anyway, check out the Emo-tastic links below.
Emo Farm
How to be Emo
Emogame!
That is all.
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