Movie
Review: Clash of the Titans (2010) [Movie]
Posted By Jeff On April 26, 2010 @ 8:41 am
Movie: Clash of the Titans {2010)
Genre: Action, Fantasy
Rating: 5/10
To be honest, I was going into this movie with a lot of hope that it would be spectacular and it turned out to be craptacular instead. So close, but not what I wanted to see. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that it was a bad movie, but I just felt a little ripped off.
As anybody who has read my reviews before would know, I’m a stickler for format. If there isn’t a solid plot, true character development or even any good special effects: You don’t have a good movie. This is the case for Clash of The Titans.
Though the plot wasn’t bad, it felt rushed. Though it was apparent that there was a plot line, many parts could have been expanded or explained better (or at all). There was many parts of the movie where there was missing information, or more so missing character interactions, that needed to occur to pull the scenes together. The way they laid it out, the characters knew the answer to everything before it happened, which makes me feel like I’m are watching actors.
The character development…well there wasn’t any. The relationships the characters had changed from one moment to the next without warning or reason, making me wonder if I fell asleep during part of it (which is quite likely at this point). This movie attempts to capture many aspects relating to the connections the characters have to one another, but the presentation simply isn’t even to justify the fact or make it believable. It would have been better off if they didn’t try at all.
Clash of The Titans was presented in “3D”, which was nothing but a waste of an extra $3, on top of the cost of the ticket prices. I noticed 1 scene where it came remotely close to being 3D, and even then it wasn’t very good. This is one of those movies where all the cool parts with monsters and action are shown in the commercials.
Conclusion: Wait for it to come out on DVD, rent if it you really have nothing else to watch. If you’re smart, you’ll wait until it shows up on TV for free instead, you’re not missing anything.
Movie: Paul Blart: Mall Cop (Review)
Posted By Jeff On January 25, 2009 @ 9:02 am
Steve Carr’s Paul Blart: Mall Cop, starring King of Queens Kevin James and hottie Jayma Mays, comes off as a pretty funny movie in the trailer. Fair warning, it’s not.
The whole idea of this movie is that an overweight failure of a security guard is caught up in an organized crime in the mall and has to stop it on his own. Throw in a crush on a kiosk worker and low blood sugar and you have yourself a movie. Unfortunately, they forgot to include good writing with this story line, which leaves the movie with a hollow half-assed feel to it.
The acting itself really wasn’t that bad, but the characters just didn’t have enough substance to carry the movie. If they weren’t going to give us a hardcore decent fulfilling plot, at least give us some character background or slapstick humor. Given that these are the top two factors needed for a successful movie of these genre, it’s fair to say that the mark was missed on this feature.
All in all, Mall cop seems to fall short of being a comedy as I only found myself with one chuckle the entire course of the movie (which was also in the trailer, go figure). The only real entertaining thing that I found was that on an episode of King of Queens Kevin James was forced to shave his mustache because his wife said he “Looked like a motorcycle cop”. Oh how things repeat themselves.
Final score: 3/10 ‘Buy this from the dollar bin when it shows up at the dirt mall’.
Movie: Street Kings (Review)
Posted By Jeff On December 31, 2008 @ 12:25 am
I went into this movie not actually knowing what movie it was, which is the best state ti be in for movie watching imo. It wasn’t until about 20 minutes into the movie that I realized ‘hey I think I saw a trailer for this’. Quick summary is saying that Tom (Reeves) is a detective who is top dog and kills people. He then gets caught in a weave of corrupted cops and scandals.
The plot annoyed me for the only reason that I went most of the movie feeling as though I was watching a sequel. There was a gap between the first scene and the second (which started the chain of events) that was so poorly and briefly explained that I had to pause it and think/make up what ‘might’ be the reason for this (that and to get banana bread). If there is going to be a linear plot, the inciting force has to be explained well. Aside from the initial gap, the rest of the movie had a decent flow to it.
I can’t say anything about the selection of actors, Reeves played his part well: Dumb and simple. With a supporting cast of Whitaker, Cedric the Entertainer, Mohr and Nolasco (Go Sucre!) it was well cast.
The only thing I would have liked to see is a little more character development. They noted on the fact that Tom was drinking a lot, but it had no significance to the plot. The same goes for his romance, no significance. If you’re going to try giving a character a life, give him a reason to have it or avoid it all together and throw in some more explosions.
Overall it wasn’t all bad for a movie about cops.
Final Score: 6/10
Movie: Twilight (Review)
Posted By Jeff On December 6, 2008 @ 6:57 pm
Movie: Twilight
Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Thriller
To start off, I was going into this movie with big expectations since 2008 seems to be the year of the vampire. I wouldn’t consider this a good representation though.
A quick summary: Girl (Bella) moves to new town and becomes the new girl in high school. New Girl falls in love with outsider kid (Edward Collins) who is a vampire.New Girl and Vampire have strange relationship, girl almost gets killed by evil vampire. End.
The nitty-gritty that bothers me of this movie is not only the inconsistency within itself, but the fact that the attributes of these vampires seem to be lacking towards those that we commonly know. For example, these vampires do not sleep at all (aka no coffins). I can live with this I suppose, it doesn’t effect the plot. However, they also are able to survive sunlight. In fact, not only does it not harm them at all it makes them shiny. Worse off, the Collins’ family states they only drink animal blood and it is left at that. Well there goes the entire vampire aspect of these people.
The plot itself that annoys me is that for the first hour and twenty minutes of this movie you could replace the ‘vampire’ factor of Edward (the male love interest) with just a pale emo kid and it wouldn’t change the plot at all. There is no real vampire-human obstacles that they’re overcoming here, just a lot of him saying “I don’t know if I resist myself”. *yawn* Now at this 1h20m point, it does a complete 360 degree turn here and suddenly they’re being chased by an evil vampire (who was awkwardly placed in the story might I add) and they’re trying to kill Bella. So it was 1h20m of high school emo garbage then the final 30 minutes is a horribly cliche fight scene.
As an added bonus to this pathetic attempt of a movie, Edward is able to read minds. He can’t, however, read the mind of Bella. He also often refers to her as ‘the one’ or similar there of because she has a different scent from the rest of the humans. It might just be me, but I’m pretty sure I already saw this before…Oh yeah, on True Blood. Suki (the female on True Blood) has the different scent and she can read minds. She is also in love with a vampire named Bill. It looks to me like somebody stole somebody else’s idea and just mixed it up. I think I like True Blood better.
Final Summation: Avoid this movie, watch True Blood on HBO instead. If you don’t have HBO, run over your face with a lawn mower, it’s still more entertaining than this movie.
Score: 4/10
Movie: Hancock (Review)
Posted By Jeff On July 8, 2008 @ 10:01 pm
I just want to start by saying Will Smith, you suck. The movie started off good: a drunk asshole of a superhero. He played that really well, almost too well. But then he went to jail and became all goody-goody. Now before anything starts saying “Yes Jeff, but you knew that would happen” they just did a really bad job at it.
Actually, on second thought I’m not even going to bother writing a full review of this movie. The explanations that the movie gave for a lot of the stuff was just plain stupid. If it wasn’t for the drunk references at the beginning this movie would have been a total flop, instead of just bad.
Score: 4/10
Movie: Transformers (Review)
Posted By Jeff On October 25, 2007 @ 5:45 am
Movie: Transformers
Genre: Action
I REALLY didn’t want to write a review for this movie. I honestly can’t even figure out why, but I just didn’t care for this movie, it rubbed me the wrong way. There were tons of explosions and everything, but I found (and it seems to be just me) that almost all of the robots looked the same. I seriously couldn’t tell who it was that got killed until the 2nd time I saw it. I think it’s the fact that when they’re fighting they’re far too shiny and you can’t see the colors as well.
The plot itself was OK I guess. It’s not supposed to have an awesome plot, it’s robots beating the living tar out of each other. The plot they had going on with the teenagers was boring, didn’t care, wanted robot on robot action.
Overall it wasn’t a bad movie, but I wasn’t happy with it. In all fairness, I wasn’t going into it with very high expectations given that it was directed by Michael Bay. My brother seemed to have loved it though, he bought it the day it came out on DVD. That said, check it out and see for yourself.
Final: 4/10
Movie: Romantic-Comedies
Posted By Jeff On August 11, 2007 @ 7:26 am
I’ve come to notice that of all the movies I watch, most seem to be comedies. That’s a fairly normal thing I would thing, I’d rather laugh more than cry or be scared. But lately, most of those comedies that are being brought to my attention are romantic-comedies. Or as I should say, are classified as romantic-comedies. For instance, the movie No Reservations which I recently in which most of the plot involves her learning to open up and allow herself to fall in love is a romantic-comedy. However the movie American Pie (the first one) is not a romantic-comedy, it is simply a comedy. For a movie to be anything with a split (romantic-comedy, thriller-horror, crime-drama, etc) the movie needs to have a fairly even balance. I think it should be at least 45% of one category to deserve the title. American Pie was not 45% romantic.
However that’s not what I was going to write about this blog. What I was going to write about, was the plot of every single romantic-comedy that ever existed. Yes, I think I’ve broken the formula. The key isn’t so much what happens in the movie as much as it is what hasn’t happened before the movie. Most of the changes that happen in a movie that create the plot involve a workaholic/routine, death of a loved one, or an accident blow out of proportion (but then it’s more comedy-romance based on the characters constantly messing up). Those are the inciting incidents that usually start the plot. Really it’s more anything that will take them out of what they normally do and force them to adapt. This is what causes the ‘comedy’ for most of them as they often fail at adapting and usually need the help of somebody else. This is where the romance comes in.
At least 90% of the ‘romance’ is often caused by the theory ‘opposites attract’. I could start naming off movies here that follow this theory but I’m sure most anybody who has seen at least one movie in this genre can clearly see. This person (the opposite) is often seen as the antagonist to the main character’s routine life. However, they find that the character that they’ve been having a problem with is not such a bad person, but in fact is exactly what they’ve been missing in their lives. Simply put: The ying to their yang.
The other 10% of romantic-comedies use the ‘social awkwardness’ route for the romance. Such as the male not being able to talk to girls because he gets too nervous, then finding out that the girl in which he after is just as nervous as he was. Some other social awkwardness signs can simply involve the character being shy or depressed and unwilling to create an emotional bond. This is often the case fof films in which the workaholic card is also played.
Ok, that’s it for now. I just really wanted to point that out, so next time you’re watching a movie watch for the opposite thing, chances are you can notice that deep down they’re all really just looking their place in life and somebody to love….or maybe that guy sticking the kid’s head in the toilet and stealing his lunch money is just an asshole.
Movie: Simpsons Movie (Review)
Posted By Del On July 29, 2007 @ 12:24 am
If you love the TV series then you should love the movie. Everything thats done right with the animated series and all the quirky little jokes thrown throughout an episode are in the movie. From Mr Burns threatening the towns people to the frequent jokes and even a 2 second nude scene. in the beginning homer even makes fun of the audience saying he can’t believe that anyone would pay to see this when they can watch it at home. if your a fan of the Simpsons show then this is a must see. Even if your not a huge fan this is still a good comedy tons of laughs thrown in from slapstick to the occasional political joke.
Blue Steel
Posted By Jeff On July 28, 2007 @ 11:58 pm
I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really good looking.
Cart Demolition
Posted By Jeff On August 27, 2005 @ 1:39 am
Tonight I went to see 40 year old virgin. It was the best movie of all time. I laughed my ass off the whole time to the point that I was in tears.
After the movie we found some carts sitting around, so we were playing around with them for more then an hour. Freaking awesome. Even have pics.
Now presenting YOUR Cart Demolition riders!
Cheryl!
Jaimie!
Simon!
And last but not least Tyler!
Please be patient as the riders prepare for the demolition.
Battle 1: A free for all! Best rider wins!
Would you look at that, they all lost!What a fantastic battle. On to the next Battle: A single competion between Cheryl and Simon. Keep it clean and good luck!
And we have a winner! Good job Simon. Well that’s our show for tonight. Good night, and don’t get hit by a cart, aight?
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