Authors
T-Mobile Goes Gangster
T-Mobile recently put in place a policy where reps no longer have to say their rep IDs, and in many departments not even their real first names. I’m predicting the future and thinking we don’t even have to talk in real sentances. I’m going ahead of the pack and redoing my intro statement:
“Welcome to T-Mobile, T-Mobiles where it’s at, Some people call me Cougar ’cause I’m slick like a cat.
So hit me with your problem, tell me what it be. Quicker we get done, you get back to watch TV. Ya kick it!
*this is the part where I dance around like Vanilla Ice while the customer tries to figure out what the hell I just said*”
It should be fun, I have the attire ready and everything.
Thanks mom, knew I’d wear this someday!
Women: Another Piece
of ass the puzzle! By George I think I’ve got it, women like it when you look like crap. Have a really rough looking beard growing in? Keep it. Have a really nice shirt on that you just took out of the laundry basket? Wear it. Haven’t showered in a week? Well, that’s kinda gross. Long story short: Women like you looking horrible. No, hear me out.
Example 1 (Bulk barn girl): Hadn’t shaved in 3 days had a huge pimple on my forehead and was wearing one of the geekiest hats ever. I was really tired and buying 10lbs of candy. I got a phone number and discount on candy.
Example 2 (Holly the Holy): This young lady approached me while I was at the bus stop (because all high class people hang out there). I now haven’t shaved in about 2 weeks, I took the shirt out the hamper, just got off a 12 hour shift, was in a car accident on the way home and now am over full from eating at Denny’s: So I looked and acted like a lifeless hobo (I was even yelling at stray cats. Ok that’s a lie I’m sure they had owners). She introduced herself and asked if she could talk to me about Jesus and since I had 15 minutes before the bus (and she is totally my type minus the whole Jesus thing) I said sure. Apparently God wants this attractive young woman to hold my hand, tell me how soft it is and that I smell like pancakes (which were in my bag). Oh, and that Jesus will let you get away with anything. I gave her my number for something or other, she gave me her cell number.
This brings me to two conclusions which should narrow down what women look for in the opposite sex:
1) Something to fix. It’s not hard to get somebody to shave, wear a clean shirt and get rid of a zit. Nor is it hard to make them commit to something which has very little importance to them anyway (in this case religion) but it ‘looks good on the resume’. Just tiny tweaks.
2) They should have, smell like or BE food. This doesn’t need explaining.
And before it comes up saying I’m just a complete stud of a man and a total babe magnet with a huge…income; My numbers over the last year doubled since I started looking like garbage. Those are some badass results. The code is cracked, just like the women who use it. Boo ya!
Call of the Wild Gummi Bears
Today children, I have a love story for you.
*Note: I was wearing my hat with a big yellow ” ! ” on it, a symbol of quest givers in Warcraft*
Today I decided to go to Bulk Barn (where you can buy candy in bulk) to get Gummi Bears and planned on paying around $1/lb. Well they were only $0.66/lb so I decided to buy twice as much. I got up to the counter and there was this cute blond cashier, Allison, there and she rangs it up and said “Wow, 10lbs of Gummi Bears. How about we say there is 5 lbs and I send you on the quest to call me?” I replied “That’s a good reward for such an easy quest. Is it a daily?” and she laughed. After a second of comparing our stats some old bat got in line behind me and I had to run because I was out of mana.
End Game: It cost me only $4.32, I looted 10 lbs of Gummi Bears, a phone number of an attractive young nerd-girl and got the spring-in-step buff. And people say candy isn’t good for you? I beg to differ.
I eat eggos like you for breakfast
I woke up this morning, like I’ve done a million times before, and decided “wow, I haven’t eaten since I went to sleep last, I can use some food”. Now given that I went to McDonald’s for breakfast yesterday, I thought I’d just have Eggos today.
Fair enough, I go make 2 Eggos and eat them. I then think to myself “They were good, I’ll have some more”. Of course, I have to open a new sleeve of Eggos since I had just finished one off. The next thing I know I’m ripping and tearing at this wrapper trying to get it open, yelling at the Eggos saying things like “Are you kidding? I eat Eggos like you for breakfast!”. It wasn’t until I said “Oh so you like it rough? Fine! I’ll cut your package off then eat you!” followed by “Yes, I know that it would be easier if I did it in the reverse order!” that I realized the two most important things:
1) I’m not only talking out loud to my breakfast, but yelling at it.
2) I make a lot of sexual references when I talk to my food.
I think from now on I’ll skip breakfast and just have a coffee.
No Blolgathon?!
It’s true and it’s completely blown my mind. True, I haven’t been blogging quite as much as I hoped due to work, but Blogathon is still always going to be a day worth booking off to do. Unfortunately the Admins of Blogathon decided that they weren’t going to be able to do it this year. Horrible, right?
However, Jen has stepped up to provide an alternative titled Day of Blogs. She hasn’t put together too much info yet, but I’ve contacted her and thrown my hat in the ring to help out any way possible. A year without Blogathon is a summer without air conditioning: Possible but it just ain’t gonna happen.
So I’ll start blogging again here with details of it, and we’ll see where that idea goes. And yes, the other posts are still coming stay tuned.
Bell is blocking my tubes
This is an older post, created in January. I’m going to start blogging again, working on writing up new drafts of some posts so cleaning out these old ones. -Jeff
Well I’ve had enough of Bell Sympatico, they really are assholes. I’ve been having problems with them for months and every time I call them they either A) ‘fix’ it (meaning it seems fast since they disconnected my net completely for 30 minutes) or B) Hang up on me. You might be asking me “Well why didn’t you switch?” The answer is because the only other option is Rogers/Cogeco, and they have a $99 installation fee.
Today, however, I decided to take action on my shitty service (when it takes over an hour to download 200mb when there are over 2000 seeds, there is a problem). Also, the fact that I was clued in to Bell admitting to lowering my transfer speeds during ‘peak times’ set me overboard. I had spent hours on the phone and them ‘not knowing what is wrong’ when really they’re just fucking with me. If I’m paying full price for a full service I want that full service all the time, not just outside ‘peak hours’ cock gobblers.
Where was I? Right, I called up Rogers and asked them what they could offer me for around the same price range. The answer I got:
- Waived installation fee
- 7mbps Download / 1mbps Upload
- 61GB total limit/month
- $44.95/month ($3 off for 6 months, so $41.95/month)
Current package with Bell:
- 5mbps Download / 512kbps Upload (though highest I’ve ever gotten was 3.1mbps download)
- “No total limit” (however my charge seems to fluctuate by $3 every month and they refuse to send me a paper bill)
- $47.99 – $51.00/month
In short, I’ve been getting screwed around lately. I’m going to call up Bell and given them the option of cutting my bill ALOT (I’m talking $30/month max) or I’ll be canceling it come the end of the billing cycle.
UPDATE: I did call Bell, and they gave me a $80 credit on my account. I accepted it but am still planning on switching to Rogers to see how well they can service me. (yeah, had to say it that way, it made you laugh admit it)
Alexander Stephen Tyers
I’m an uncle! How cool is that?
Alexander Stephen Tyers
Born to Cheryl Whittle and Thomas Tyers February 5th, 2007 @ 4:47pm
Weight: 9lbs 12 ounces
Ticked Tuesday: Dear Questioning Customers
Why do you even bother talking to me? I mean seriously. I’m in activations, we want yours service, we want your money and will do everything next to ‘putting out’ to do that. So why on earth would I bother lying to you? I mean seriously, do I look like customer care?
If you call up telling me you talked to somebody earlier and want to pay us now and get it going, I’m totally for that. But when you don’t give me ANY of the right information for the number I can’t very well do that for you. But then to question my integrity and tell me I’m not seeing what I am is quite annoying. I mean I’ve looked for you through the phone number you gave me, your name, your SSN, your friend’s name whose account it’s supposed to be on and you’re still not there: You’re not telling me something.
Long story short, I have to create the new account with a new number for you or you’re not getting anything, sorry Babe.
Have a T-riffic day,
Jeff
Education VS Netucation
A colleague and myself recently had a conversation about what was truly a more effective and useful: Education (through traditional methods such as university classes and organized methods) or netucation (the idea of self-teaching through your own methods and gathering information online from various sources).
Though education has the benefit of a more organized and structured education environment, it’s often costly as well as not completely useful information. Netucation on the other hand, allows the ’student’ go form their own lessons and learn what they want to learn (or what they can find). The biggest flaw with netucation, however, is the fact that it depends on the person and the effort they put into it whether they’re able to education themselves to a competent level.
The topic boils down to the question “Do you want somebody who thinks he can do it, or somebody who has done it?” Just something to think about
Sniffles for sale
I’m sick. I’m never sick, but I’m sick. Throat is killing me, can’t stop coughing and my nose is running a marathon (I’ve gone through an entire roll of toilet paper blowing my nose in the past 24 hours!). The worst part is every time I blow my nose I cough, which then makes my eyes run. This sucks. But even though I feel like I want to just curl up into a corner and die right now: I have work at 7am. Work sucks. Anybody want to just give me money to be sick? That would be fantastic.
I did have a request though to review a site, and I told them I’d do it this week. So come hell or high water I’ll have at least the title and a ‘yay or nay’ verdict up by Friday, even if I have to write it out on paper and mail it to all…6 of my readers.
Anyway, I’m going to pop a pill and go call my cab in hopes that morning coffee and the joy of spreading this wretched cold to others will make me chipper enough not to die today at work. Tootles.